Tuesday, May 31, 2011

What To Say To Bitches

Situation 1: You earned yourself an awesome gadget, an expensive one. Someone was jealous and said something like "a macbook? whatever. i can afford 2 HP (the laptop, not acronym for 'handphone')"...
Strike back line: 2 HP? fuck it. why would you ever need 2 HP? gila or what?

Situation 2: You are very fashionable and someone (example: archi student) told you to 'join' the mass communication people when you are really studying architecture.
Strike back line: Would love to. Without the mass comm people, you won't be able to enjoy your favourite extra-lame drama and without you, I won't have any home to live in. So shut your mouth and let's work together, eventhough I am very stylish and you look like you are wearing the.... uhh..... rubbish bag? Yup, I think you are wearing.... rubbish bag.

Situation 3: This one happened to my best friend, and to me. She used to study TESL (i never did) and you know how they always talk in English for the sake of their education? Some would say they are berlagak, english-speaking mat salleh wannabee.
Strike back line: Trust me, I am speaking in English for the sake of your future children. I may be the one who will teach them English, and you know, I won't make them as dumb as their parents.... Their parents only know 1 language. Oh wait, you don't understand English, don't you? Pfft.... Membazir air liur aku je speaking! Fuck!

The moral of the story? Try to respect people, for God's sake! Ada akal kan? Fikir sendiri.

Kimi Ismawi

p.s. It is best if you run off away from the attacker after you just mindfuck them.

Friday, May 27, 2011

'Cinta Anak Anjing' Equals to 'Puppy Love'

I guess most of us had the cinta anak anjing moments..... I found some chunks of my cinta anak anjing memory a few days ago. The yummy chunks are a love letter and a sim card frame...

I called him Iq. I knew this guy through myspace. His band added my webpage as I was a lyricist. I wrote lyrics for local indie bands (and a Singapore metal band)... you get the idea:networking. I knew this band long before they added me because I've listened to their song in the radio. I don't remember who started first, but I think it was them who inbox(ed) me first. Every text signed by the band member who typed it. That was when I knew Iq. He's from Langkawi (seriously, what's up with me and Kedahans? My current boyfriend is a Kedahan. hahahahaha). We talked about the music industry, etc... We talked all the time that came the moment when it was too easy to talk about personal things. And oh, sometimes his bandmates replied my text since I was sending everything to the band inbox, not Iq's personal webpage.

Iq added my webpage in his personal webpage and BAAMMM! There was love in the air. Hahahaha.... We exchanged numbers, the flowers were bloomin', the air smelled nice but there was 1 prob: I was somewhere in Borneo and he was... youknowwhere.

We texted all the time, but really, I wasn't hoping for anything because:
1. I've never met him
2. He was too far away
3. I was only 15 (almost 16)

He recorded a song about me (it was never aired, of course), I saved it. He mailed me Maxis sim card as I was using Digi, but no, I hardly ever used it... and why? Refer previous paragraph. We didn't break up, we just don't keep in touch with each other anymore...... Ok, consider sudah break lah..... hahaha.....

Recently, I found his Facebook page and he has a girlfriend, and me with my beloved Paly (my boyfriend's waking-up line: bantal marah.....).

Who is Iq?

Here's a hint:

I really miss the old days, the teenage drama.... But I love now and the present =)

Kimi Ismawi

To Iq: Thank you for giving me an awesome teenage life. Support you all the way to China. Hahaha... xD

To Paly: Jangan jealous ok? It was only puppy love. hehehe..... You're still the best, boo =)

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Tahi Tikus

Celaka dalam hidup yang tidak pernah kurang
pagi tadi aku diserang serangga hitam
petangnya ditimpa tahi hidupan
malam pula mungkin pitam

Cerita bohong yang dilontar melekap pada muka
jari sang dalang yang menuding ingin ku gigit sahaja
itu cerita yang kau canang
dengan doa aku tidak tenang

Aku pula kekal statik
menutup mata simbol penakut
lahir mendengar azan
berpaut pada ajaran
sambil menghidu nafas syaitan
namun tetap diserap maut

Mei 4, 2011

Kimi Ismawi